Hah! I once did essentially what this page does, albeit in SQLite with one of those SQL workbench apps. The data was pulled from US census data. Kind of a fun little project. I wish I had my laptop with me (currently backpacking through Europe) because I remember there were some interesting little insights I came across. For instance, I think I remember there was some weird town in the middle of nowhere in California where the residents are almost entirely 50+ women. I also remember Port Hueneme being heavily skewed towards men. It was also interesting seeing how the gender ratio could change significantly between neighborhoods and towns in the same city.
The truth is I came up with this a few years ago because I wanted to try living in a different city and wanted to make sure it didn't have a worse gender ratio than the one I'd been living in. I'm a man so it made sense to find one that has more women than men. I know some people find it weird to use statistics for dating purposes. Well, I can't seem to not be a weird person no matter how hard I try, so I'll just own it. Anyhow, one thing that my project did that this one doesn't seem to is break down the numbers by people who are unmarried vs married, education levels, etc. It also included corrections based on data from Gallup in regards to what percentage of single people are interested in dating vs wanting to remain single. I remember there were some cases where a place looked like a sea of women but if I adjusted the numbers to exclude married people then the resulting gender ratios were way less skewed.
Ultimately, I think culture matters more than gender ratios. I'm not gonna say where it was that I was loving for a while (which was influenced by my analysis), but I will say that I in part chose it for having a highly educated population; I found that I was definitely judged harshly for being a self taught person with no degree. Where I'm from very few people care that much. My point being you can move somewhere with lots more single women than men and end up no more successful at dating, if not less.
> I remember there were some cases where a place looked like a sea of women but if I adjusted the numbers to exclude married people then the resulting gender ratios were way less skewed.
Isn't there a married man for every married woman, meaning that the gender ratio of single people shouldn't be affected by the marriage numbers? I guess the only explanation would be that there's lots of women aged 30-34 married to men 35-39 in a given county?
> It also included corrections based on data from Gallup in regards to what percentage of single people are interested in dating vs wanting to remain single
There isn't granular data for this question, unfortunately - and the estimates vary widely from survey to survey. If you know of a data source that can provide at-least state level data for this, let me know!
>Isn't there a married man for every married woman, meaning that the gender ratio of single people shouldn't be affected by the marriage numbers? I guess the only explanation would be that there's lots of women aged 30-34 married to men 35-39 in a given county?
I believe you have forgotten about the existence of gay marriage.
Most HN readers already know about "Man Francisco" or "Man Jose", but this adds in some Census numbers to explain just how many men there are out there.
As a single woman still barely holding onto this age bracket (praying to the power of anonymity right now), the fact that this exists and is so clearly targeted at men who honestly look fine for such a high price is sad. If you told me you spent this much money on your profile to meet me, I would immediately subtract whatever smart and attractive points I unconsciously added to you and add them to your insecurity score instead.
edit: In case I must spell it out scoring people like this is weird. Also his own photo is terrible. I'm rarely so negative but seriously guys please save your money.
The best photo for a dating site isn't one that makes you look good, but one that makes you look interesting. That's true now more than ever, when a very polished photo looks like AI.
A good candid is much better. It conveys something of who you actually are: what you like to wear, what you like to do, and ideally looking sincerely happy.
Women are generally less appearance-focused than men like to believe about them. Looking "fine" suffices for most women. Men are convinced that it's their appearance scaring off women, but in fact it's their personalities -- and an over-reliance on appearance is a strong indicator of an unpleasant or boring personality.
(I give similar advice to women, who are more likely to focus on their own appearance. And that's unfortunately expected of them. But at least for me, a good candid is better than a studio shot. Since the custom is usually for men to open the conversation, it helps a lot to give me an opportunity to lead with something more insightful than "Gosh you're pretty.")
> You can do it all 100% free per the guide which describes the process end-to-end
D:
Nooo! Please read.
Your before and afters are good. It's clear you have good qualities, but you can present and pitch them better. The stringent objective approach to your value-add is doing you a disservice. You allude to the fact that it's an art that takes time to get right yourself already.
It's like unit tests vs integration tests. It's easy to think you're testing one thing when you're actually testing another.
You present this as the idea that you understand what objectively makes a portrait flattering (true/verifiable), and the objective evaluation by women using a scoring rubric lends an air of ostensible credibility that suggests the kind of profiling you might see in an integration test named "Good Dating Profile Photo". I think what you have instead is unit tests for acceptability, inoffensiveness, and presentability plus your uniquely gathered insight into their personality. Fluoride makes toothpaste work, not the fact that 4 out of 5 dentists agree. Your learned insight is the fluoride. I guess maybe the men respond to the "4 out of 5" statement already, but it's so easily refutable.
Using your photo as an example, I can see your face clearly now, but I also can't see where you are, your full profile, why you might be there, who you're with, or what you're doing. You also don't seem quite at ease. It's completely sterile. I wouldn't blink if I saw this on your LinkedIn or GitHub profile. On there all I'm trying to verify is that it's you! But on a dating profile I'm looking for a sense of you. I want to see your best qualities, which aren't always visually straightforward in men, presented in a flattering light. You help people find that! By the way, your other photo did have those qualities. I just couldn't see you!
> If you told me you spent this much money on your profile to meet me, I would immediately subtract whatever smart and attractive points I unconsciously added to you and add them to your insecurity score instead.
Yeah for two thousand dollars a person could go on a trip and bring back an interesting story, or get therapy, or a puppy. Could probably do all three, actually.
It doesn't matter if you think it's weird; it works. I did the same process manually many years ago, with Photofeeler and statistics research, and it made an obvious difference. I am now married. Men don't really care if something is considered weird by random female commenters if it is getting them frequently laid and into romances. As they say, don't ask a fish how to fish.
You responded to somebody’s benign personal opinion by saying nobody cares because she’s a “female” (lol), compared women to fish, and wrote that you’re married (lmao).
If “expert on women that can’t say ‘woman’” isn’t a bit it looks like somebody doing some Rules of Acquisition-posting from the Gamma Quadrant
The truth is I came up with this a few years ago because I wanted to try living in a different city and wanted to make sure it didn't have a worse gender ratio than the one I'd been living in. I'm a man so it made sense to find one that has more women than men. I know some people find it weird to use statistics for dating purposes. Well, I can't seem to not be a weird person no matter how hard I try, so I'll just own it. Anyhow, one thing that my project did that this one doesn't seem to is break down the numbers by people who are unmarried vs married, education levels, etc. It also included corrections based on data from Gallup in regards to what percentage of single people are interested in dating vs wanting to remain single. I remember there were some cases where a place looked like a sea of women but if I adjusted the numbers to exclude married people then the resulting gender ratios were way less skewed.
Ultimately, I think culture matters more than gender ratios. I'm not gonna say where it was that I was loving for a while (which was influenced by my analysis), but I will say that I in part chose it for having a highly educated population; I found that I was definitely judged harshly for being a self taught person with no degree. Where I'm from very few people care that much. My point being you can move somewhere with lots more single women than men and end up no more successful at dating, if not less.
Isn't there a married man for every married woman, meaning that the gender ratio of single people shouldn't be affected by the marriage numbers? I guess the only explanation would be that there's lots of women aged 30-34 married to men 35-39 in a given county?
> It also included corrections based on data from Gallup in regards to what percentage of single people are interested in dating vs wanting to remain single
There isn't granular data for this question, unfortunately - and the estimates vary widely from survey to survey. If you know of a data source that can provide at-least state level data for this, let me know!
I believe you have forgotten about the existence of gay marriage.
edit: In case I must spell it out scoring people like this is weird. Also his own photo is terrible. I'm rarely so negative but seriously guys please save your money.
A good candid is much better. It conveys something of who you actually are: what you like to wear, what you like to do, and ideally looking sincerely happy.
Women are generally less appearance-focused than men like to believe about them. Looking "fine" suffices for most women. Men are convinced that it's their appearance scaring off women, but in fact it's their personalities -- and an over-reliance on appearance is a strong indicator of an unpleasant or boring personality.
(I give similar advice to women, who are more likely to focus on their own appearance. And that's unfortunately expected of them. But at least for me, a good candid is better than a studio shot. Since the custom is usually for men to open the conversation, it helps a lot to give me an opportunity to lead with something more insightful than "Gosh you're pretty.")
For the target audience this is about 5-10% of a month's income, and so is more like a reasonable optimization.
> to meet me
To improve the distribution of dates, which is more valuable than any single one.
Thanks for the feedback, I've replaced my own photo with a good one.
> I'm rarely so negative but seriously guys please save your money.
You can do it all 100% free per the guide which describes the process end-to-end: https://nsokolsky.substack.com/p/how-to-take-a-perfect-datin...
D:
Nooo! Please read.
Your before and afters are good. It's clear you have good qualities, but you can present and pitch them better. The stringent objective approach to your value-add is doing you a disservice. You allude to the fact that it's an art that takes time to get right yourself already.
It's like unit tests vs integration tests. It's easy to think you're testing one thing when you're actually testing another.
You present this as the idea that you understand what objectively makes a portrait flattering (true/verifiable), and the objective evaluation by women using a scoring rubric lends an air of ostensible credibility that suggests the kind of profiling you might see in an integration test named "Good Dating Profile Photo". I think what you have instead is unit tests for acceptability, inoffensiveness, and presentability plus your uniquely gathered insight into their personality. Fluoride makes toothpaste work, not the fact that 4 out of 5 dentists agree. Your learned insight is the fluoride. I guess maybe the men respond to the "4 out of 5" statement already, but it's so easily refutable.
Using your photo as an example, I can see your face clearly now, but I also can't see where you are, your full profile, why you might be there, who you're with, or what you're doing. You also don't seem quite at ease. It's completely sterile. I wouldn't blink if I saw this on your LinkedIn or GitHub profile. On there all I'm trying to verify is that it's you! But on a dating profile I'm looking for a sense of you. I want to see your best qualities, which aren't always visually straightforward in men, presented in a flattering light. You help people find that! By the way, your other photo did have those qualities. I just couldn't see you!
Yeah for two thousand dollars a person could go on a trip and bring back an interesting story, or get therapy, or a puppy. Could probably do all three, actually.
It would not be weird though, for example, to visit The House on the Rock and take pictures while you’re there.
If “expert on women that can’t say ‘woman’” isn’t a bit it looks like somebody doing some Rules of Acquisition-posting from the Gamma Quadrant